When Fifi and I were busy playing she started a conversation, one of those relaxed, matter of fact, innocent conversations trying to put things into boxes,
Fifi you're my only grandma aren't you grandma?
me - yes
F - a grandma is your mummy and daddys' mummy isn't it?
me - yes it is
F - and daddys' mum is dead isn't she
me - yes thats right, she wasn't well
F - and a granddad is your mummy and daddys' dad isnt it? ( to put you in the picture daddy is the same age as me, 19 yrs older than my daughter)
me - yes thats right
F - and daddys' daddy is dead as well isn't he?
me - yes he is
F - so if grandma and granddad are your mummy and daddys' mummy and daddy I should have 2 grandmas' and 2 granddads' shouldn't I?
me - yes thats right
F - then I am lucky because daddys' daddy is dead and I still have 2 granddads dont I?
me - yes you do, Granddad B (my ex) and granddad (current husband)
F - and granddad B is mummys daddy but granddad isnt
me - thats right grandma and granddad B were married but we split up because we didn't love each other any more.
F - Fifi does some thinking here......then asks - are you and granddad married?
me- yes we are
F - then where's your baby?
me - what baby? (Im confused by this)
F - when mummy and daddys get married they have to have a baby
me - no you dont have to have a baby just because you get married, to have a baby is a choice, and as we already had 5 children we didn;t need any more.
F - so if mummy and Fr( mummys partner) get married they dont have to have a baby?
me - no they dont
F - that's good cos I don't want another baby brother or sister.
me - no mummy has no intentions of having any more children.
end of conversation, she went back to happily playing the game
so I get the idea this conversation was because she was worried that she may end up with another younger sibling like her brother, and as much as she dotes on him and him on her, she knows how much of mums time he takes up and how much he suffers.
I'm amazed she kept up with it all, it lost me! Children have incredible concentration and thought processes sometimes don't they?
ReplyDeleteyes Emily, you could hear the cog wheels turning before some of the comments came out, trying to piece it all together. But its amazing how a childs worries and fears come out when they are most relaxed and doing something that doesnt quite fit with the conversation. obviously didnt feel she could run this by mummy, and how much of it was pre-thought out to the final worry I have no idea.
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