Tuesday, 21 May 2019

Living Through Grief

Unfortunately, grief is something that we all have to go through. Sometimes, we know that a death is coming.
We have got time to say goodbye, to prepare ourselves and to make plans. Sometimes, the end is
sudden. It comes completely out of the blue, and we have no time to consider how we might feel.
But, however it happens, it’s never easy. We’re left with sadness, anger, confusion and often, plenty of
questions. It’s never easy to deal with a loss, and it’s never easy to just get on with life and go back to normal.

But we have too. You might be able to take a few days off work around the time of the loss
and for the funeral, but you can’t go on grieving from home forever. Long before your
sadness has passed, you have to get out of bed and brave the world. You have to go back to
work, tackle housework, get the kids to school and generally carry on with your life.

Stick to Your Routine

You might have taken a break from your routine in the immediate aftermath. But, it’s essential
that you get back to it as soon as possible. Get back to work, start doing the school runs, head
back to the gym and start cooking dinners. It doesn’t mean that everything is better; it just
means that you have decided not to let grief put your life on hold.

Let Yourself be Sad

People often mistakenly think that getting on with their life must mean that they are no longer
sad. But, it just means that you are doing what has to be done. It’s ok to be sad, and people will
understand and expect it. If you need to run off to the toilet for a little cry, that’s ok. If you
find yourself sobbing in the car when you pull up at home, that’s fine too. Work around your
sadness; don’t try to force it away.

It’s Ok to Laugh

When we’re deep in grief, we feel like that’s all that we’re allowed to feel. It’s not uncommon for grieving people
to feel guilty when they feel happy or laugh. They feel like they are betraying the person that they have lost
by thinking about other things. But they wouldn’t want you to be sad. If something funny happens, laugh. If you
remember a happy memory, let yourself think about it. It’s good to be happy. It doesn’t mean that you’ve
forgotten. It just means that you are human.

Don’t Try to Block Memories

It can seem like the best way to move on is to forget. To force yourself to stop
thinking about the person that you’ve lost. But that will just make things worse.
Think about them, remember them, look at Memorials to help you to remember and
celebrate their life. Over time, you’ll see that they are still a part of your life if you remember them,
and you’ll start to feel better.

Talk About It

We don’t talk about death or grief, and we should. By talking about it, you’re not just helping
yourself. You will also be helping others to deal with their feelings.

This is a collaborative post.

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